What I have learned in the past 6+ years since a deadly, incurable renal cell cancer diagnosis in May, 2009 is not to lose hope. Something to hope for. Someone to love. Something to do. I’ve heard Mr. Bill Turner use these words as a prescription for a happy life. This mantra is working for me and I suspect it will for others, too. At the date of diagnosis — that Monday in my office with the door closed, close to my office speaker phone on the credenza with the person I love most in life sitting on my lap, I remember thinking how sad I would be if my life ended without getting to see our sons get married, without experiencing the joy of having a grandchild, without getting to grow old with Jill, having my parents deal with the loss of a child (no one should have to find out how that feels) and oddly, not being able to see downtown Columbus and Phenix City become something really great.
This October, our son Michael will celebrate his first year of marriage to Janice Rice. Someone to love. Hope springs eternal! All four of our sons are gainfully employed, doing what they love and self-sufficient.
I have remained hopeful, when even the act of thinking hopeful thoughts was painful. When I lost 100 pounds, due to the bone-rattling ills of taking a powerful, oral chemotherapy drug, I tried to find joy in regaining a youthful, thin body. The act of clothes-shopping became fun again. Skinny jeans.
Now that I’ve regained every single one of the 100 pounds that I lost, I realize that without the imminent fear of death at my door, I can go about trying to lose weight like a normal person. Cutting down on calories, walking and exercising when I can. Something to do. And, I can hope that skinny jeans might be in the plans for me again. Hopeful. My doctors haven’t confirmed my suspicions that the extra weight I was carrying at diagnosis might have greatly contributed to my survival. I’m working on getting the weight off, or at least stabilized, but if the worst happens, I’ll have my “winter weight” onboard to steel me against the 8th round with this damned disease.
Someone to love. Jill Tigner loves cats. One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life was taught to me by Jill: “You’ve just got to love a cat.” This past weekend, we added a beautiful Russian Blue named Gracie to our pack. Walking through PAWS Humane on Saturday, looking for that perfect spark in the eyes of so many beautiful felines, THE ONE we thought we’d choose, based on the PAWS website, didn’t make the cut. Gracie’s green eyes lit up every time I walked into her room. She bounded up the structure several times to get “eye-level” with me. A little head bump, a low, rumbling purr. All signs that she wanted us to pick her. Something to hope for.
I remain stubbornly hopeful about my body’s ability to fight off this disease. I remain stubbornly, hopelessly in love with Jill Tigner. I remain firmly plugged into life — working to tell people’s stories through our magazines. For all my brothers and sisters who are fighting cancer, find something to hope for, someone to love and something to do. Stay hopeful and positive. Wake up every day and ask yourself what you can do to deal the cancer another blow. Find a way to rob cancer of its ability to shout you down.
And, if everything feels like it is falling down around you, look into the eyes of a shelter pet, take her home and work through this thing together.
Beth says
A beautiful testimony to a life well-lived. Keep up the fight. I admire you more each day.
Pat Waldrop says
I love all your posting about your WALK,but found this one to be especially meaningful today. Another of my great friends is beginning to fight this battle and once again I find myself praying hard for this battle. The C Word is just an awful word for a family to hear. I am so grateful for your VICTORY and know that truly, Love, Faith and Hope have been with you all the way. GOD IS GOOD MIKE VENABLE!!! And I love your Grace! (the cat)
Kathy Jenkins says
As you know I have had my own struggle against cancer. I have a take-up cat, that’s a lot like a shelter pet, and lots of companion farm animals that I love. I enjoyed this article very much and sometimes I need reminding of those struggles and how very lucky I am to be here. Thanks for that reminder. Continued good luck with your journey and as always I will look forward to your next posting.
Eric Maddox says
Mike, I first heard that mantra (something to love, something to do, something to hope for) so many years ago I’ve forgotten the circumstances of who or where but it has never left my brain. Your inspiring blog put a new light on it, however. Speaking of inspiring, that blog about your six year battle with cancer was the most amazing chronicle I have ever read. Never have I encountered such perseverance and determination. You are definitely one of a kind. One sobering effect of your article was that it made me realize that my own encounter with cancer may be just beginning. At this point I’ve had one course of chemo, followed by surgery to remove the affected ureter and left kidney. The tumor had metasticised into one lymph node, which was also removed. Dr. Ogan says that because of the aggressive nature of this cancer and the likelihood of it reappearing, I will probably need either more chemo or some type of immunotherapy. There is a clinical trial for bladder cancer starting at Emory. Dr. Pippas is looking into it to see if I will qualify. Right now I’m recuperating from the surgery, which was three weeks ago. Thank God I still have my bladder.
Amelia Turner says
I am sure you know already that you are one hell of a fighter and more alive with cancer than most others without it. I agree there is always hope. I can still cycle the coast highway here in Hawaii with untreatable liver cancer. Yep, a sister. Best to you. Jill is a very blessed woman. You write beautifully about her and all else but especially her.
Kim Farmer says
Your new cat is beautiful, as is your story. I wish for you, Jill and all of your family many blessings. Keep the great stories coming!
Michelle Morgan says
Cats are truly wonderful. The way they look at you when they love you. It sounds like love at first sight with Gracie. Their purr, especially when they are sitting in your lap. You keep fighting this thing with that hope you have and the love of that wonderful wife, Jill, and the love of others. I have two scriptures that came to mind after I read your incredible, moving story. Your body is fighting your disease with a great strength that is inside you: Romans 8:11 “…..the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you.” And Zechariah 9:12 “Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even today do I declare that I will render double unto thee;”. Mike, you are already a prisoner of Hope in this war you have been fighting. You probably already know that God is the great physician and he can, and I pray and believe he is healing you. God bless you and Jill and your family.
Dianne Henry says
Awesome, Mikie.
Joann Beck says
Your posts always remind me how precious life is and what a remarkable person you are. I think God keeps you hanging around to encourage others and to be a cheerleader for not giving up. Here’s hoping for continued remission so you can continue to enjoy Jill, your children, the sweet shelter pets and all the wonderful, beautiful,exciting things to do in life.
Paula Acton says
Beautiful article…bravo!
Connie Jackson says
Mike, please tell Jill that I love her! Did you not like cats before?? At least you have seen the light and, now, heard the purr. When Gene and I first started dating, he was not a fan of cats. I suppose that Max, my big orange boy, suspected that and decided to win Gene over. As we were sitting on the couch talking, Max walked right across my lap and settled on Gene’s. Max never really could purr; he sort of wheezed and that endeared him even more to asthmatic Gene! We have 3 wonderful pound pusses (?) , each with amazingly different personalities. I think that animals give one all three of your needs – something to hope for, someone to love and something to do. God bless you and Jill and your new Gracie!