We just got back to the hotel from a long, really nice dinner at Table 16 in Greensboro, NC. It was a date! It was a date! Out of town, a couple in a different town, sharing a bottle of wine and two different fish dishes. A nice ending to an exhausting day.
I’ve decided to talk to God tonight. I don’t mind if you listen in. In fact, I want you to listen in and know what is in the back corner of my heart.
Dear God, we have tried to be all you would have us be since cancer came to visit us almost three years ago. We have helped raise $150,000 for the American Cancer Society and received the incredible gift of feeling the love of our community on one of the greatest nights of my life.
I have peddled a bicycle, worn makeup and posed for pictures and video for billboards, print ads and television commercials for the John B. Amos Cancer Center and Columbus Regional Healthcare System. We have written over 140,000 words, first on our Care Pages and then on this blog so that we can leave a very easily findable trail of crumbs for the kidney cancer patients who are visited by this disease after me.
We have bared our souls, discussed bowel movements, explained our fears and discussed medications, procedures and even videos of me getting shrink wrapped for a stereotactic radiation treatment. There isn’t a single thing that has happened to us that we’ve held back on. It is all out there — the good, the bad and the ugly. Our local doctors, PAs, nurses and techs have not failed us. We have received exceptional care. We left Columbus because it is time to seek care from a renal cell cancer specialist.
We didn’t hear what we came to Duke to hear today. Jill and I are in a “Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead” place. Dr. Dan George….not so much. The tumor that was in my spine is gone. The CT scans and MRIs confirm this. We came expecting to be offered high-dose interleukin 2 therapy, a brutal systemic therapy, which could cure me of this cancer. A 7% chance. A chance we were willing to take, in spite of the horrific side effects and stress on my body and on Jill’s soul from having to witness it.
Lord, I don’t like indecision. You know I like to lead, follow or get out of the way. I’m not good at waiting, even though I know that it is not my will, but yours, Lord, that will be done. I’m afraid of this tumor coming back in my spine. I’m afraid of my legs being taken away. Dr. George was emphatic today that HDIL-2 won’t keep this cancer from returning. He says the cancer in my body needs to declare itself. He feels that we need to continue to watch. We’re living in a constant state of cancer advent.
I asked about PET scans, or any other cutting edge scans that might not be available in the Columbus area. Dr. George will call us inside of two weeks to discuss those options, if they exist.
The good work that has been done by our caregivers at home may have healed me. It is entirely possible that this cancer is gone permanently. If you’ll grant me a wish, Lord, I’d really like this to be the case. In the meantime, we’ll continue to wait, and pray from cancer advent. We’ll continue the scans, the hydration and the needle sticks.
I won’t give up on you, if you won’t give up on me.
Oh, one more thing. Please get us back to Alabama safely.
Amen, and goodnight.
Thanks for the update.
hope you and Jill will.get a good night rest and safe journey home tomorrow.
Love you
cindy
Wow! I choose the cancer is gone permanently. Love to y’all and be safe!
I know you hate waiting, Mike, but Biblically speaking, miracles follow advent. So I’m going to call this cure advent. I’m just waiting to hear that you’re cured.
All our love,
Callie & Rush
Mike, you are so special and you are Gods child, you are on a path that no one ever wants to go down, but everything you share with others, your pain, thoughts and emotions, have to put you in special favour with God. It reminds me of David, different story & circumstances. I am going to speak nothing but the goodness He has for you, love you guys..
Interleukin-2 is indeed a rough therapy, but the results can be outstanding. My wife, with wildly metastasizing melanoma, in 1997, underwent high dose IL-2 treatments here at the Medical Center. (I believe they don’t do them here now.) Killed four tumors in her lungs and one in her spine, although the spine one collapsed it and paralysed her from the chest down.
PET scans are available here in Columbus now, both at the Medical Center and at St. Francis. This wasn’t the case when we first dealt with them, and we had to drive to Duke every six months for her scans. She’d been one of the guinea pigs earlier at Duke to determine if PET would work with melanoma. It did. Now we’re able to do the scans here, first every six months, and now annually, doing a combination PET/CT, dropped to annually because she’s had so much total radiation over the years.
You are in my prayers. You are obviously giving this thing the hardest possible fight. May you have total success.
Mike,
Like Betsy, I am choosing that the cancer is gone permanently. I love you…Shannon
Mike, I am Shannon’s Mom and remember you from the Lithonia days. May God continue to bless and use your good heart to help others too. We know so little and must trust so much. I pray that your faith will be perfect whatever lies ahead. Live each day as a gift and love.
I know He won’t give up on you. And I know you won’t give up on Him. You are a good team. Good things do happen.
Dear Mikey
This is so beautiful and heart-felt. I know it wasn’t what you wanted to hear but you also know he’s one of the best and knows what he’s talking about. So I will pray along with you that you’ll be patient (a toughie for me too.) glad you are back home safely. Love, love and love, Allison
We add our prayer… Please God, let it be gone! Laurel and Fred
We will pray and wait with you, and believe that it is gone forever.
Love and prayers,
Di and Johnny
If the cancer never again declares itself, this time of waiting and uncertainty will wind up just a blip on your future. Hang in there, Friend!
Mike,
I read this earlier this morning and was reminded of it as I read your prayer.
And the Lord said, My Presence shall go with you, and I will
give you rest. (Exodus 33:14 AMP)
May it be so.
Cathy
Praying, Mike, praying.
I hope, wish, and pray, all of my digits are crossed (makes typing and walking difficult). Cancer: be GONE!
All physical healing is temporary, so in that regards we all live in a state of advent. The only difference is that you have the insight to recognize it and to compel us to. On this day, for this day, you are healed and.that is a praise worth noting. Rejoicing with you.
Im with you, Mike. I too hate limbo but I’ve learned that God’s timetable and ours are rarely the same. But the good new is, he is with you while you wait. Safe travels.
God does work in mysterious ways, and he knows you’re one tough nut to crack! I see him sitting on your shoulder throwing daggers at the Devil……
Amen
Mike and Jill, the love that you have for each other will get you through this experience. Larry and Jacquie
P.S. Plus our prayers and your wonderful “Killer” sock monkey. Hugs to you both.
Amen, Buddy. Keep on Truckin’
Mike, Do u feel as good about this doc as Dr. Dutcher? Their approaches appear to be so diametrically opposite. I’m sure whatever decision y’all make will be the right one. Y’all are more educated than most “patients”. Go with your gut!! Praying for y’all. Sandy
Continuing to pray that the cancer is gone-that you are healed from this monster. Gonna’ add patience and the ability to wait without anxiety to my prayers! God bless you, Mike and Jill.
Mike, sorry you didn’t get what you were expecting, but that may be a blessing…let’s hope you won’t ever need a treament again.
Blessing, Scott
Hey Mike,
You can’t always get what you want… but I hope and pray that you do get it. My admiration for Jill (and you) goes up every post.
You’ll get an answer. I pray it’s the one you and Jill want.
Mike and Jill, We believe in MIRACLES at the Greene house. We will continue to pray that both of you will stay strong! Thank you for sharing this incredible experience.
Reading your life story is better than just about every book I’ve read. I do hope one day to read it all again in one nicely packaged, hardback….personally signed of course!
Prayers continue!