I got the phone call we were looking for yesterday from Dr. Pippas. He has managed to work with Dr. Dan George at Duke University Hospital to get our consultation appointment moved up a full two weeks! The new appointment time is 1:30 p.m. on Wednesday, January 11.
I have filled out all my new patient forms online (how nice to have them digital!) and have submitted them to the doctor’s office. The scheduling person, Stephanie, wasn’t able to answer all my questions about what might happen while we’re there. Will there be blood work? Will there be scans? Will I take a treadmill stress test? I don’t know the answers to these questions, so I will be packing Xanax, just in case they decide to slide me into a tube, either feet- or face-first.
Getting this appointment moved up is HUGE for me. I have been a basket case, although a calm one. The way my mind works is that once I have made it up regarding a particular course of action, I simply cannot sit around and wait for things to happen. I want to go NOW. The tone of my phone calls to Dr. Pippas’ office has been, frankly, more intense as I have made them. I think I have been somewhat of a pest, but we have a small business to run and the possibility of the first vacation we’ve taken in a long, long time scheduled, too. We need to keep the business running and we want to be able to take this Caribbean vacation with two couples of our best friends.
I am thinking, “If we could get this ball rolling, we can do the therapy, I’ll have time to get over it and we can still make the Water Island trip.” That really wasn’t practical, given the time some of this stuff takes. So, with the great gift of an earlier consultation appointment with Dr. George, we’ll be able to learn all we need to know about whether I’ll qualify for the treatment, what we have to do to prepare for it, get out the April magazine and still make our trip. Then, if Duke’s scheduling will permit, we’ll start the treatment as shortly after March 5 as we can.
With the usual one week on and two weeks off and one week back on scenario, by mid-May I should be cancer free, ready to hug my family and friends, golf, fish, kayak and continue to look for ways to embarrass my children. If I make it through to the healthy conclusion of HDIL-2 that I envision attaining, my next point of focus will be to urge the appropriate parties to produce us a grandchild.
None of our sons are married. Some are more seriously dating than others. We’d appreciate them getting things done in the right order and all that – but damn it, I want a grandchild!
When the HDIL-2 purges me of cancer, I also intend to write about other things in the blog than kidney cancer. There is so much more than I can write about! My head is completely stuffed with some useful things to impart and also some useless drivel that only weird people would want to read. Since I have quite a few weird readers, they’ll be happy with those writings, I’m sure.
Jill and I are reading now, trying to prepare for the HDIL-2 treatment. We won’t know which of the awful potential side effects will bother me. But we have to assume they all will, and be ready with the proper clothing, shoes, lotions, diversions and drugs to counteract them.
One of my favorite tree-hugger, animals-are-people-too people, Callie Sprague, has convinced me to use visualization so that my mind will condition my body to find and kill these cancer cells. What I may not have said about this particular cancer and the HDIL-2 therapy is interesting. The very toxic drip that they’ll mainline into my heart every 6 hours doesn’t kill cancer. It is designed to ramp up your immune system and allow it to literally rise up and kill the cancer cells, no matter where they are in your body.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that Kate Nerone gave me a sock monkey after reading one of my posts in which I referred to this lovable sock-skinned creature. Until that monkey ripped the face off that woman in Stamford, Conn., I would have never considered a monkey as my preferred mascot in an ass-whipping competition. Something with a more fierce reputation, like a honey badger, would surely be a better talisman for my upcoming battle.
Thanks to Kate, I have a sock monkey in hand. Last time I checked my office, there was not a honey badger in sight, so I will be taking my sock monkey with me for all the HDIL-2 treatments. The monkey’s name is Robert Charles (R.C.) Killer. He’s a seasoned killer, so tortured by renal cells as a baby monkey that he’s developed a lethal hatred for them. A lifetime of bullying by renal cells has hardened him into a single-minded killer. Killing RCC is his only past-time. Uninhibited by hobbies, he has devoted his entire life to killing RC cells within my body.
Sock monkeys mate for life. The bonding begins as they’re packed for shipping to their new mate. As Kate boxed Killer to send him on his way, the brief stretch of darkness and the incessant jarring as the package made its way to me only served to make him a more lethal killing machine. There is nothing more deadly than a pissed off sock monkey!
When Killer arrived on my desk, I could feel the pent up energy that lay under that packing tape and cardboard. As I ripped the packing material, I had the sense that whatever was inside was doing its job to get out. I could feel the strength of the limbs and claws scratching their way out in order to release the creature into my arms.
Killer has been patiently waiting for me to utilize his particular brand of killing skills. He has perched on a piece of furniture in my office with a cocky look that says to visitors, “Yes, I know I look cute, but I can rip your face off in an instant and show no remorse! Go ahead, try me.” Honestly, I feel much more secure in my office just knowing that Killer is standing guard.
He was excited to know that I have a real mission for him that will utilize his considerable skills for something more than guarding a magazine publisher’s office. The typical visitor to my office is a fairly non-threatening person. They’re generally not scary, except for the occasional redheaded public relations person who comes by from time to time. Killer is beside himself with just the right amount of swagger and professional pride at the knowledge that he’s about to go up against his most dangerous opponent yet. Renal cell cancer is deadly, unpredictable and sneaky, but Killer has been trained for this day.
JIll, Killer and I are ready to go to Duke to hear Dr. George’s plan for our future in this next phase of our battle with kidney cancer. Some people will likely make fun of me for carrying Killer. They just better hope I don’t turn him loose on them.
What Killer, what did you say? “Kidney cancer is my bitch!” Well alrighty then. Let’s go to Duke!
Carter says
I”ve seen some pretty ugly sock monkeys in my day, but yours sounds downright frightening. Here’s to you, Jill, and Killer as you take on RCC. I just know the best man (you) will win.
Bill McLemore says
Go with God, Mike and Jill, and Sock Monkey.
Prayers continue in this corner! WPM
Georgia Brown says
Prayers and every good wish for your time at Duke. I knew Kate many years ago and remember her as a fine, lovely young woman.
If time – and appetite – might permit,one of the best Greek restaurants I’ve found is Papas at 1421 Hillandale Road, next to the Courtyard Marriott in Durham. I do believe Dr. Pippas would approve. The Saganaki appetizer is divine.
Pat Bass says
I am keeping you, Jill &R.C. Sock Monkey lifted up in my prayers, this trip will be the best……..
Gene Anest says
Go Mike You can do this and do it well. You now have a responsibility for all those who follow in the footsteps of your success.
I’ll be ‘there’ making sure “killer” never sleeps.
As the ol’ Bear would say “GO GO GO, Don’t ever stop”
Betsy Covington says
I find myself thinking the weirdest things when I read your posts. Some day we’ll have to discuss this.
Today, as the daughter of two loyal Duke alums, all I can think of is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpphcJjbF_0
But instead of “Fight, fight, blue devils,” I’m hearing “Fight, fight, RC Sock Monkey!” The rest of the lyrics in mind change magically to words that fit your life right now. You can undoubtedly write ’em better than I can, but let me know if you need me to draft the whole script. Fight, you sock monkey, fight!
Callie says
THAT’S the Mike I know and love!! Fired up and raring to go on the next leg of the adventure, killer sock monkey at his side. I’m thinking this would make for a great novel…
Love you!
Tree Hugger
PS Ngozi, in case you’re reading, I promise, I don’t REALLY think pets are people. Mike has a penchant for hyperbole occasionally.
Janet Torrance says
Mike, Although I check everyday to see if you have a new posting about the demon kidney cancer, I look forward to the day when this weird reader can enjoy some useless drivel as well as hear about your adventures as a grandfather.Praying that all the details work out for your treatment and much needed vacation.
Beth and Bob Martin says
Mike and Jill, This is great news!! Prayers continue for you and Jill (and the rest of your family). Love you both.
Beth
Sherry Wade says
Reminds me of a favorite true story. Upon returning from Africa I was recounting to a guy friend about seeing a family of cheetahs make a kill which was pretty vicious to say the least. My friend replied, “Those Cheetas are sure some mean ass monkies!”. I am sure yours belongs to that genus species, too.
Sherry
Dianne Henry says
Johnny and I are so on Team Mike, with Jill, Killer, Strainer and all the gang that has your back.
We love you, Wierd Dude. And remember WIT, Whatever It Takes, you got it.
love, prayers, and blessings,
Di
PS:love this blog.;)
Ronnie Rice says
After searching for months, I finally found the recipe for the bbq sauce you and I concocted during the Pig Jig many years ago. If you remember, we mixed together some sauce that you made with some that I had made. Lo and behold, we actually won a trophy in the sauce division. The reason I bring this up, is I remember many people who tasted our invention gagged and swore that this stuff would cure cancer. I’ll have you a bottle to take to Duke! Good luck old friend…..we love you & Jill!
alenna peak says
This sounds like a good plan ..good luck on this adventure …R.C. will take care of you …
rICK mCkNIGHT says
dont forget my themesong hymn for you “Fight the good fight with all your might!”
Eddie and Nancy Reid says
With God and Killer on your side, the RCC (like Elvis) has probably already left the bldg!!
Stephanie Downs says
Prayers continue to be with you guys and now killer too! Love to you all-
Stephanie
Joliene Price says
Kate is brilliant to send the killer monkey!:) God be with you Mike as you undergo these treatments. You will be/have been remembered in prayer!
Jim Railey says
Great news Mike! I can identify with your impatience. Our prayers go with you,Jill and RCC. Kick butt and take no prisoners. Jim.
Kate Nerone says
Mke — needless to say, I am thrilled that Killer has become part of your Attack Plan for this next, intensive phase of your healing. It might interest you to know that your insight into the incredible, positive powers of Sock Monkeys is shared by a great organization, Operation Sock Monkey. Perhaps some of your fabulous weird readers would like to know how they can use the awesome Sock Monkey Karma to help kids receive their own BFF/Killer Monkey Pal.
“Operation Sock Monkey is a volunteer-run initiative in support of humanitarian organizations such as Clowns Without Borders (CWB) that provide laughter, hope and healing to communities around the world affected by disease, disaster and social/political turmoil. Handmade Sock Monkeys can be purchased or sponsored to be sent to children in need of a smile.”
http://www.operationsockmonkey.com/
Love you — Kate xo
Alex Deblond says
Dear mike, this is difficult dilemma for me: I studied (a while ago) at UNC Chapel Hill, so, yes Ann and I are true tar heels. And now one of our good friends (you !) is gonna play his most important game at … Duke. Thus, for the first time in my life, I am shouting …. Go, Blue Devils, Go….! We know you are going to win this game, again.
Jane Bayer says
So glad you got the appointment moved up .You, Jill (and Killer) are in our prayers!!
Marilyn House says
Mike, I hope you get to the useless drivel part very soon and I can help you with that. It’s kinda what my Christmas letter turns into with all the “unique” (is that a good word to use so as not to insult my children?)comments and events they pass along to be added each year. I am glad you have Killer with you … I am sure he can understand everything you tell him and he will always be there for you. That makes him an awesome companion. Know you are in our prayers.
Marilyn and John
Amy Nerone says
Only Kate Nerone would send you a KILLER Sock Monkey. Go Kate!!
Debbie Seeley says
Safe travels to you all……..prayers and love all the way around.
Mark Venable says
A killer sock monkey? Sorry. Not impressed. Say hello to my leetle friend, the determined, deadly, dastardly Chico, the Chick-O-Stick Chinchilla!
Betsy Lawrence says
Thrilled you got the date moved up! We will continue our unceasing prayers and know things will turn out well. So glad you have Robert Charles to assist you.
Carol Ann says
Always a pleasure reading your words, Mike!
Hugs and prayers continue!!