Despite what it may look like, I respect the readers of this blog so much that I like to bring something decent to read to the table each time I post. Generally, the lapses in information coming from me means that I’m happy, well and going about my life. Sadly, this is not one of those times. I am 50 shades of miserable and I haven’t felt like I could write something that anyone would want to read. I know, though, that our friends want to hear from us to get a feel for how I’m doing. Another reason that I’ve been reluctant to post is that I don’t want to be one of those pitiful people that just sits around and whines about all the stuff that is physically wrong with them. But, let’s be real, this blog might have started out as the life blog of a relatively healthy mid-fifties magazine publisher, but it has become more of a diary of a kidney cancer patient. So, I slog on, and especially with this post, I’m writing just so people can know what is going on. I don’t feel like writing. I don’t really feel like anything at the moment. Well, an empty husk might aptly describe how I feel.
If memory serves me well, I was given the 9th dose of high-dose interleukin 2 mid-morning on this past Thursday. Because some of my electrolytes were out of whack, I received a few infusions that got me ready to travel and we were released on Saturday afternoon. With only a part of a day to drive, we went as far as Kannapolis, NC for the overnight and then came on home on Sunday afternoon. I have been trying to recuperate since.
This illness and my own personal foibles have dealt me considerable one-two punches. You might recall that about a year ago what started as a good turn from my brother in the form of a tainted scrambled dog left me with five days of vomiting and diarrhea in addition to the normal difficulties of getting over major back surgery. Although, one of my most physically demanding weeks, I got through it and survived to write another day.
This HD-IL2 therapy was extreme, in every sense of the word. Every eight hours your body is infused with the HD-IL2 drug and this cytokine therapy is supposed to wake up your body’s natural immune system to fight the cancer. Getting the treatment is tough enough, but the week or so of downtime is even more difficult because you’re awake enough and alert enough to know you are just miserable. But I got another whammy and developed the worst case (of three attacks) of gout I’ve ever had. In addition to the awful itching and peeling, the crippling gout pain has made my life very difficult over the days since we’ve returned from Duke.
Itch update: So far, my entire face, ears, eyelids and neck have completely peeled, leaving behind the nicest skin I’ve probably had as an adult. My torso, legs, feet and scalp are sloughing off skin now, and because I cannot have any type of steroid on or near me, I’m dealing with this using bath treatments, lotions and drugs. The itching is maddening and coupled with gout pain in my right great toe, I’m a hot mess right now.
I know this is going to pass, but damn, I’m like to just get it behind me. Jill has been a constant, patient angel and she goes about keeping all our various balls in the air with grace and courage. I love her so. Hopefully, the gout will be gone shortly to leave me to finish recuperating from the HD-IL2 in peace. Then we’ll be off again on Sunday for the second half of the treatment and have to face this all once again. The prospect of a cure looms bright in my mind and helps make all this misery worth it. Thank you all for continuing to support us through this difficult time. Your prayers and notes of encouragement are continued fuel for the fire of my healing.
Ashley P. Smith says
Mike, thanks for the update. You and Jill are in my prayers. Right now is a rough time for you, but you are tough! Glad y’all are home in Seale while the mornings and evenings are an enjoyable temperature. The hint of autumn (and healing!) is in the air.
David Adams says
I really don’t know what to say other than you have been in my prayers each day as I read your blogs. I will keep praying for you & your family everyday. God Bless….
JO GILLILAND CROWSON says
MIKE,
My constant prayers are with you. My this journey lead you to full recovery and a long life of peace and happiness. God bless you,
JO
Perry Ann says
Cannot hardly say it better than Ashley did above
Enjoy the complimentary rejuvenation of your complexion!
People pay big money to get that deep a peel!!!
Sending ongoing good karma and prayers
ED says
I am 2+ years since my last week of HDIL-2 and am a complete responder. AS you well know it’s not easy but getting to the “Other Side” of this beast is pure joy!
I also struggled with gout in both knee’s during doses.
Focus on Family and being there for all future events,
(my case marriage of a son and birth of our first grandchild all within the last year)and how you do not want to miss these events.
I also envisioned that IL2 was like a game of Pac Man
and when the cancer cells were blue IL2 was eating them. Purpose of this note is to tell you I’ve been there done that an got the t-shirt. Hang in there.
A Fellow RCC Warrior. StayStrong Ed G.
Betty Anne Pollock says
Mike Venable– All I can say is I love you and your family. Also in my heart of hearts I know all these trails are going to cure you . keep up the fight!
Carol Ann says
“The prospect of a cure looms bright in my mind and helps make all this misery worth it.”
Prayers to you and Jill. With each post I feel that you are closer to the end of the war.
“The prospect of a cure looms bright in my mind and helps make all this misery worth it.”
“The prospect of a cure looms bright in my mind and helps make all this misery worth it.”
“The prospect of a cure looms bright in my mind and helps make all this misery worth it.”
Debby Payne says
Mike and Jill – I think about you and pray for you much more than I post here. I try to stay updated by reading your blogs, although I may miss one from time to time. What comes to mind the most is I wish I could take some of your pain and misery away. I have NO doubt many others feel that way too. You will both continue to be in my prayers…I know better days are ahead!!
Jim & Terry Irvin says
Keep on truckin, Bub. Our prayers are with you.
Callie says
OK, sooooo it sounds to me like you need some distractions. I have just the thing. I will send Rush to regale you with adventure stories based on altercations with his evil neighbor, including an hour-long soliloquy on lawyers who reinforce their own stereotypes. You’ll love it!!
Or maybe I could come and perform an interpretive dance conveying all the exciting daily activities that you’ve missed at the office for the past couple weeks with a special section on SPAM emails and phone solicitations. (BTW ATT&T wants you to know you’re a valued customer.)
I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t take me up one of the above options, but in the off chance that they don’t float your boat, we could send some good books or high energy movies home with Jill for your reading and viewing pleasure. Any requests? Rango, perhaps? Or Inside the Actor’s Studio starring the Geico Gecko? I think there are some good lizard scenes in The Amazing Spider Man …
Seriously, I will try to round up some things for you to watch and read. Wish I could do more!! If you have any ideas, let me know!
Love you! Miss you!
Callie
Jan says
Oh Mike, I hate hearing of your misery. Don’t ever hesitate to tell it if you feel up to it. We, your Army, rely on your info so we can do perhaps the only thing we can do to help, and that is PRAY. God bless you, Buddy. God put Jill there for a good reason and I am glad He did. We love you — and right now, I am praying for you to find comfort in many ways.
I love you,
Jan
Gloria Dodds says
I like the prospect of a cure looming. I will concentrate on that!
Betsy Covington says
I want so badly to think of something pithy & cheerful to say to you that will ease your pain. But all that I keep thinking is: “Damn! I just hate that he’s hurting!” I want that cure so badly for you and am so admiring that you’re doing the very tough, but very correct thing. I just so wish that there was a way I could ease this burden.
I believe that this honestly & truly sounds like it’s dreadful. But I believe you will be better. And I will celebrate with you then just like I’m sending “sharing your burden” thoughts to you now.
Gayle Henderson says
Covering you with love & prayers! We’d love you if you looked like a peeled grape! lol!
Lamar Johnson says
Mike, consider it an honor that you have been identified as a Lizard Man. As a Florida Gator some of my UGA friends have enjoyed calling me Lizard Man or worse, particularly when the coach they love to hate, Steve Spurrier, was the coach at our alma mater. You are tougher than any gator I’ve ever seen and they have been around since dinosaurs roamed the earth.
borden says
Glad to hear from you…was worried when there was no post…Keep writing through the bad times it’s usually Therapeutic. There is a book in this on the other side.
Ann Blondheim says
Your courage and attitude are amazing! They are what will get you through this hot mess. Do not ever think that your friends and followers think of you as a whiner. You are a champ and hero!
Michele Turner says
Mike, you are amazing how much you share, it all helps me a great deal. Mike you are one courageous man. Keep writing I am enjoying reading your blog and I am keeping you and your beloved ones especially Jill in my thoughts here on the island. I will be tuned in and stay tuned in. I so hope it is easier the second time around. It just sounds so remarkably difficult and like it requires so much patience. I would come and Hula Hoop dance for you and Jill at the hospital if I could. Stay strong. You are well loved on the planet.
Michele
peggy zuckerman says
Most expensive exfoliation treatment in the world, Mike. I remember being greased with something like Crisco. It helped, or at least took my fingernails longer to reach the itchy spots. This WILL pass. Do be absolutely careful to stay out of the sun with your new baby skin. thinking of you and the next steps; Peggy Z; eight years and counting
Betsy Lawrence says
I can’t imagine what you are going through but we are with you all the way! Praying for relief for you. Keep up the posting.
Jim Railey says
Mike, we miss seeing you at Rotary. Been missing your posts. As hard as they may be for you during the days that suck, know that you are an inspiration to all who know you. I would just hope that I could deal with this half as well as you have. Keep the faith. We’re still praying.
Marianne says
You can do it! Give it your best shot! Think of that cure!
Ron and Janet says
Mike and Jill,
We’re thinking of you both and can only imagine the things you’ve faced and beaten so far. This will be another one. We love you both and send our prayers of healing. After this stuff, a nice Florida vacation should be in order, eh?
Allison Kennedy Owen says
I hurt for you, Mikey! I wish there was something magical to do or say. But I have come to believe it’s quite magical to have all this love surrounding you, especially now. Love, love, love Allison and Mike
Becky Ivey says
Mike and Jill,
Sending you 55 gallons of prayers to fuel “the fire of my your healing”.
You are both loved by me.
Mrs. Dr. Who says
If you haven’t already tried this, get some Steel-cut (Irish) oats from a health food store, Fresh Market or in the ethnic foods section at Publix, fill 6-8 knee high nylons with them and tie each end of the knee highs in a knot and let them steep in a bath and soak yourself several times a day. They will relieve your itching without rubbing against your new skin causing further irritation.
Patti Trotter says
I think that you, Mike Venable, are awesome. Not many going through your ordeal would be thinking about letting others know what’s going on. Never think of yourself as whining. You are one tough guy. We will continue to storm heaven for you. My constant prayer is for YOU to be in that 7 per cent.
Patty Branch says
Hey Mike, I am so sorry that you are miserable. Everything your body has been through, I know it has taken a toll on you and Jill. Try to stay focused on the wonderful prospect of a cure! I am thinking of and praying for you and Jill always! You both are an inspiration to everyone and we do feel your pain! Just take one day at the time and may God give you strength comfort and peace. Love to y’all!!! Patty
Eddie and Nancy Reid says
Carol Ann has it right, you are close to winning this battle. If I could take some of this misery you are experiencing away from you and upon myself I surely would, that’s how much I love you man. Keep fighting, we are sending many waves of prayers to our Father in heaven for you and he will answer!!
God’s Peace
Eddie
Suzy Edge says
Hey Mike and Jill,
All I can think of is what courage you have in the face of terrific pain! We are all grateful for the strength and concern that you show in writing to let us know how you are doing. Hoping that this next round will be less painful and more effective.
Thinking of you both, Suzy
Grandin says
All the comments above have covered it so well except for the one thing I know we are all wondering…. How are the twins doing??????
Keep plugging along brother… just let us know if you need to be carried. I bet there would be a long line!!!!
Grandin
Tripp Wade says
Mike, keep the faith brother.
I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. I wish I had the gift of writing that you do so I could be more expressive with words.
Please know I am thinking of you and Jill !!!
David Fletcher says
V., just three brief comments. First, go ahead on Mrs. Dr. Who. Next to Grandin, Mike did mention the “twins” and it sounds like they have multiplied and need to be elevated. I quote from the Lizard Man post, ” Jill goes about keeping my various balls in the air with grace and courage”. Finally, much love from all the Fletcher’s near and far!
Keith Murray says
Sorry to read about all the discomfort, Mike, but not all that shocked based on what you told us before the treatment began of the side-effect potential. I do remember a quote from the doc that you would be sicker than you had ever been in your life. Ick. Hang in there.
Andy Waddell says
We’re thinking of you, praying for you, Mike. Remember that every day, you’re a day closer to your cure.